- Política. L'Ex-President

L'inimitable.

"So who did you say you were again?"

"I'm Mr. Bombilla, Catalunya's expresident."

Catalunya's last president's name is "Montilla" and it rhymes with "Bombilla" (which means Light Bulb). It's also important to know that when someone is bald, we say "you look like a light bulb". And turns out that Montilla is bald. I know, quite a bad joke ;)

- What do they all have in common?

"Em temo que haurà de facturar aquesta maleta"

"Però si hi entra bé!"

Endevineu què tenen tots aquests en comú. Efectivament, tots viatgen amb Ryanair.
La dona grassa no podrà passar la maleta perquè en duu una de mà; l'home de la maleta ha comprat el bitllet per easyjet; la dona del bebé no se li permet pujar dos articles tot i haver comprar el seient addicional del seu fill... la llista és infinita.

Guess what all these people have in common. Yes, all of them travel with Ryanair.

The fat woman won't be able to check her suitcase unless she fits her handbag in there; the man with the suitcase has bought his ticket in easyjet; the mother can't get two things on-board even though she has booked TWO seats... the list is infinite.

- Política. PSC té veu a Madrid

El PSC es va baixar els pantalons davant del govern central votant en contra dels 1,450,000,000 d'Euros del fons de competitivitat.

"PSC has a say in Madrid" (PSC = Partit Socialista de Catalunya = Socialist Party of Catalunya)

"Alright, Daniel, you can all leave now and start cleaning Moncloa's toilets. And no moaning, huh?!

"Yes, My lord Zapatero"

PSC is the Catalan version of the PSOE (Partido Socialista Obrero Español = Socialist Party of Spain, basically). And PSC got to vote against Catalunya's interests (by denying 1,450,000,000€ funds from the central government to Catalunya) and they still claim that they didn't follow orders from PSOE and that they veil for Catalans' interests.

As you can all see, Daniel Fernández (representant of PSC) is bowing infront of José Luis Rodríguez ZAPATERO (current president of Spain, and president of PSOE) and granting him his wishes. Moncloa's Palace

- Català Correcte. Pt 1

Perquè encendre la tele no és el mateix que engegar la tele.

"Kiddo, what did you say you needed the matches for?"

"Light up the TV"

This joke is for a campaign whose aim is to teach people proper catalan words and expressions because we tend to translate things directly from spanish and sometimes they sound good to us, but we ignore that they are actually wrong.

In this case, we say "encendre la tele" which literally means "to light up the tv" (that's why the matches and the fire in the joke). And this is a mistake we get from spanish. We should say instead: "engegar la tele" which means "to turn the tv on".

- The Irish. The Great Potatorld

Yes indeed. This is how I imagine the irish see the world - one giant potato! :)

Afirmativament. Així és com m'imagino que els irlandesos deuen pensar-se que és el món! Una patata gegant!

- Burocracy and Business Pt.3

Avui en dia, fer-se el DNI o el Passaport és un maleït infern.

Com molts de vosaltres us podeu imaginar, no fa gaire que vaig anar a fer-me el passaport. Tot el matí perdut perquè la màquina dels ous "no donava tiquets".

"The machine has the poweeeer. Only it decides who deserves a tickeeeet!"

"Oh godess of the documents. Praise you!"

"Mum, what's wrong with that woman?"

"More scraps! Bring me more scraps!! MORE!! Or there won't be any more tickets!"

Nowadays, queuing up to get your ID Card or Passport done is a real pain in the ass!

As many of you might guess. I recently got my passport done, and that took all morning because the damn machines wouldn't give numbers away for us to get the documents done.

- Filosofia Mourinho ¿Por qué?

Les grans veritats i les grans preguntes de la vida. Coneixeu algun dels autors?

Great truths of life and the biggest questions. Do you know any of the authors?

in order from left to right:

"I think, therefore I am"

"As for me, all I know is that I know nothing."

"The republic, the prudence and the ideas"

"God is dead"

"The subject ends up dominated by the capital"

"And after myself... chaos"

"What is man?"

"No wise man can stop feeling"

"Deus sive natura"

"Laissez-faire, laissez-passer"

"Natura non saltum facit"

"Why"?

The joke goes after the first champions semifinal match. Mourinho asked himself infront of the press "why does Barcelona need help from all the referees". And he kept repeating "why, why, why" as if he was a philosopher.

- Driver Licence

Evidentment us podeu imaginar després de veure això que Sant Jordi no fa gaire que ha passat i que, a més... Sí, he aprovat el puto pràctic.

Obviously, you can easily see that Saint George's Day happened not very long ago and... Yes, I passed the fucking driving test.

For the people who didn't get the Saint George's Day joke: The legend says Saint George saved a princess from the jaws of a scary dragon by killing it. From its blood, roses flourished and he picked up one for the princess.

We, catalans, celebrate the 23rd of april by giving a rose to the women we love, and we recieve a book from the women that loves us. The lover's day, after all.

- Uni Stuff. I read

No em digueu que no en teniu un/a que faci el mateix.

"I pretend to give you a lecture, but actually I've just been reading from the notes word for word"

Don't tell me you've ever had any of them do exactly the same as this one.

- Soccer Pt.1 Mourinho

Ara sabem perquè Mourinho reia des de la grada estant, un cop expulsat del partit.

We all know, now, why Mourinho was laughing once he had been sent off.

- Les Retallades Pt. 1

La Generalitat ha començat les retallades, començant pel departament de Salut (representat per l'hospital de Bellvitge) i el departament d'universitats (representat per l'edifici històric de la UB)

The Catalan Government: "Let's go ahead with the cutbacks"
The Catalan Health Department: "No! Oh, please, no!"
The Catalan Government: "HAHAHAHAHA!"
The Catalan Government: "Next!"
The Catalan Department of Universities: "Oh my god!"

The buildings represent the various protagonists above. This refers to the current political situation in Catalunya, where the government has made serious cutbacks to Health and Universities.

- Perdoneu, Però Algú Ho Havia De Dir. Pt 1

"BlackBerries are antisocial. Excuse me, but someone had to state that"

"If someone wants to reply, my BB-Pin is: 874R792L"

This is a joke that's very common these days in Catalunya. State a fact and add "sorry, but someone had to say that". It all began with this politician we can see in the picture. His name is Joan Tardà, and it's been made popular by TV3, on a tv show called "Polònia" in which they explain day after day politics through gags.

- Star Wars 3

"Mas, agree with the dark side of the politics you must."

"Yes, master."

The catalan expresident we had a long, long time ago kind of looks like Master Yoda, and he "supervises" the current government, as it's the same political party. You can see here he's "suggesting" Mas (our current president) what's the best thing he can do.

You can check here the similarities: http://img296.imageshack.us/i/parecidosrazonablesod8.jpg/

- El Boli: Un Gran Amic Multiusos!

Se us acut alguna altra manera d'aprofitar un bolígraf?

Can you think of any other way to use a pen?

- Uni Stuff. The Door

"It's said that "this" door only opens up once every 1,000 years"

*sound of the door opening"

*WHAM!*

"woops..."

Aquella sensació de quan t'abandonen al mig d'una d'aquelles classes taaaan avorrides.

The feeling of being abandoned in one of these sooo boring lectures.